I’ve Always Wanted What I Couldn’t Have

When you were there I wasn’t ready

When I should have been, I could not

What we had was good and steady

But my heart could not keep up

 

You asked me if there was a way

That maybe we could make it work

I told you there was no point to stay

Because you were ahead in the game

 

It was too much too soon for me to take

Even if we could have been

I guess that’s part of growing up

And all the mistakes we have to make

 

 

Now it is too late for me to ask

For another chance to be with you

Because the real world has caught on

And the decision was made for you

 

I’ve always wanted what I couldn’t have

But I never thought that would be you

 

For all the times you said you loved me

If only I could finally say it back now too

 

I’ve Always Wanted What I Couldn’t Have

I Think I Like You a Lot

I miss you after a little while

Your presence lights up a room

I miss the way you make me smile

On days I don’t see you

I’ve never met a man so kind

So humble and polite

I’ve never looked someone in the eye

And felt this could be right

 

You will always be enough

And that’s what scares me most

Because I don’t feel worthy of your love

But I need my daily dose

Is it selfish to want you now

But not know if I’m ready?

Is it wrong to admit to you

When my feelings are unsteady?

 

 

 

I Think I Like You a Lot

Til today

Will it always feel like this?

To hold my tongue

To hesitate

To stay away from what I miss?

Will there ever be a time

Where it hurts a little less?

To see you there

To catch your stare

When you know inside I am a mess

Until that day

I will not say

A hint of how I feel

Because we both know

And we understand

That our love was too surreal

Whether it was true

Or all in my head

Its still the one

That keeps me up in bed

So keep me here

Away from you

Til there’s nothing left

And there’s nothing left for me to do

But to let go of you

 

Til today

You can’t change the player

Some weird attraction to boys like you

You got that bad boy aesthetic

The desire to dig deep to see what’s true

Your hidden heart of gold is magnetic

But how long will it take me to see

That boys like you just aren’t for me

I shouldn’t have to peel the layers

Or count on crying prayers

For you to come around

I don’t need to change your game

Cause that’s not my job any longer

Cause every time you let me down

It only makes me stronger

 

You can’t change the player